Remains
by cellochick373
Summary: Angsty Faberry. Done for a prompt- Rachel finds out Quinn was molested- by her mom. Quinn's, not Shelby!   Cross posted to lj.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Femslash. Don't like, don't read. Also, this deals with child abuse of all kinds, so if this is a trigger for you, please don't read.

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_Burn down my home_  
_My memories hardened and are bright as chrome_  
_Good times escape_  
_While every mistake seems to be caught on tape_

-_Remains_, by Maurissa Tenchaoren

Rachel exhaled slowly, listening to the beeping monitors and the barely-there drip of the IV. She looked around the room once more, wishing they had made at least some effort to make the whitewashed walls more human and less confining.

Shifting slightly from her position on the bed, she felt fingers grasping weakly at the hem of her shirt and she looked down. The blonde laying next to her still had her eyes closed, but her brow was drawn into a frown and she whispered, "Please don't leave me."

Trying to hide her sudden tears, Rachel murmured, "I'm never going anywhere, Quinn. I promise." The blonde seemed to relax at her words, and her breathing quickly fell back into the deep patterns of sleep.

A tear finally slipped out and made its way down the brunette's face as she looked at Quinn. Her eyes mapped out the dips and curves of her face, taking in each and every bruise. The mottled colours marred the pale skin of her face, and Rachel let her lips fall and press a soft kiss into the other girl's hair.

She still didn't know exactly how this had happened. After everything they had been through, she had thought that Quinn would have come to her before doing something that could easily have gotten her killed.

As the blonde sidled just a bit closer to her, even in sleep, Rachel exhaled abruptly for a second time and forced all thoughts from her mind. She knew that Quinn was going to need her in the coming days, and she wouldn't be much use if she was too sleep deprived to function.

Telling herself that there would be plenty of time to blame herself later, the brunette slowly fell into a restless sleep.

Rachel's discovery that Quinn Fabray's life was anything less than perfect had come quite unexpectedly.

It had been like any normal Thursday night in the Berry household, but when it was half past midnight and she still was tossing and turning restlessly, Rachel had decided to go for a run. Armed with her pepper spray, self-defense training, and a spectacular pair of lungs as safety precautions, she had set off into the frigid night air.

As she was running, she had been thankful for the extra hoodie she had thrown on at the last second. The winter air was bitingly cold, even through the three layers, and she pushed her pace a little faster to try and ward off the chill.

Two miles into the run, she found herself fast approaching the little park that marked the point where she would turn around and head back for home. Slowing to a light jog as she rounded the corner and entered the park, she had inhaled deeply, feeling the slow burn of the oxygen working its way through her lungs.

Walking around the playground equipment, she had been about to start for home when she had seen a flash in the corner of her eye. Turning, she had seen someone sitting on the swings, moonlight in their hair.

Weighing the options in her head, she had decided that she could take whoever it was if she had to- they looked small, and she was fairly certain that it was a girl. Approaching slowly, she had looked at them curiously, trying to find out who it was.

Sitting on the next swing over, she had merely said, "Hi." Her normal approach to talking just didn't seem to fit in the silence of the night, and she bit her tongue to keep from saying anything else.

The person next to her replied softly, "Hey." The voice was definitely feminine, but there was something in it that she recognized. As the moonlight glinted off strands of blonde once more, she placed the voice. Looking over in shock, she asked, "Quinn?"

The girl sighed before quietly replying, "Yeah, Berry." Rachel just sat there, unsure what on earth Quinn could be doing out here at this hour. Looking over at her, she noted that the girl certainly wasn't dressed for the weather, wearing nothing but a long sleeved shirt and her jeans.

Breaking the silence, Quinn spoke again and asked, "What are you doing out here?"

Sighing at Quinn's lack of observation, Rachel said, "Going for a run. I couldn't sleep. What are you doing out here?"

The blonde arched a brow and murmured, "Does it even matter?"

Surprised at the answer, Rachel opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again when she saw the slight shaking of the other girl's body. "Are you cold? I mean, obviously, you have to be at least a little cold, since it's easily below freezing, and you're clearly not dressed for the weather, but..."

She trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to do in this situation. Quinn would normally have cut her off 3 words in, demanding that she shut up or suffer the consequences. Instead, she was staring at some point on the playground, maybe the slide, her feet scuffing the sand underneath her swing.

Sighing and assuming that the blonde was just pretending not to hear so she wouldn't have to sink so low as to ask Rachel Berry for a sweatshirt, she stripped off her outer layer. Thrusting it in Quinn's direction, she was completely unprepared for the girl's reaction.

The blonde flinched violently away from her hand and the proffered hoodie, nearly falling out of her swing in the process. She caught herself on the chains at the last second, but she didn't let her swing fall back into place beside Rachel's.

Suddenly concerned at Quinn's behavior and the way she seemed to be having difficulty breathing, Rachel started to ask her if she was ok, but found herself quickly cut off.

"I'm fine, Man Hands."

The bite in Quinn's voice belied the way her knuckles were white from gripping the chains too tightly, and Rachel cocked her head to the side. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she was unable to stop herself from muttering, "Cause acting like I'm about to take you out is totally normal."

Quinn stood abruptly, looking directly at Rachel for the first time and glaring at her. "Maybe I just didn't want your man hands all over me." The insult lacked any real venom, the excuse flimsy.

Arching an eyebrow at the blonde, Rachel slowly set her hoodie on the swing before looking back up at Quinn.

"You know, it's ok to just be honest every once in a while. Really, Quinn, it might even make things easier. I mean, come on. Nobody, not even you, could possibly be such a bitch all the time."

Quinn drew herself up, hissing at Rachel, "You don't know the first thing about me, Berry. I mean, God- you're the most infuriating person I've ever met! Now, why don't you just continue on with your little midnight jog, hmm? Wouldn't want that obnoxiously loud voice of yours to disturb any of the normal people who are asleep at this hour."

Inhaling deeply, Rachel decided that ignoring the flaws in Quinn's little tirade was probably for the best. Somehow, pointing out that the other girl was the one yelling, and that she had just admitted to not being normal, didn't seem like the best course of action. She sat in silence for a few minutes, not saying anything, and when she finally chanced a glance over a Quinn she saw tears rolling down her face, Rachel's hoodie clutched tightly in her hands.

Slowly getting off her swing, Rachel moved in front of Quinn, kneeling in the sand and looking up at her. Quinn sniffled and moved to wipe her eyes, but the simple movement caused her sleeve to ride up and Rachel gasped when she saw the girl's wrist.

Dark blue bruises marred the delicate skin going up Quinn's arm, each discolored blotch in the shape of a finger. Quinn looked down and saw where Rachel's eyes were glued. Dropping her arm and covering her wrist, she whispered, "It's fine, Berry. Just something from Cheerio's practice."

The lie in her voice was all too clear, and Rachel found herself locked in an internal debate over what to do. Finally, she said, "Do you want to come home with me?"

Quinn looked down at the little brunette in shock, not sure she had heard right. She saw Rachel's brow crease and realized she was taking too long to respond, and she hurriedly shook her head. When Rachel arched a brow at her, she sighed.

"Rachel, I really appreciate the sentiment, but you and I both know that we would kill each other, and then where would Glee be? Really, I'll be fine, I'm probably going to head back soon anyways."

was the thought that flashed through Rachel's mind, but she bit it back. Quinn had actually called her Rachel, and she was loathe to do anything to put the blonde back on the defensive.

Exhaling slowly, she nodded, but asked, "You have my number, right?"

When Quinn nodded, she gave her a pointed look. When the blonde scoffed and waved her off, Rachel threw her hands up. "Fine. I get it. I won't try to be your mom, but still." She noticed the second the words were out of her mouth that Quinn had tensed, but she wasn't sure what she had said. Looking at the blonde in confusion, she tried to figure out what was wrong, but to no avail.

More frustrated than anything, she said, "You better not freeze out here, Fabray." The words seemed to snap Quinn out of her sudden daze, and she looked up at Rachel, what Rachel could have sworn was a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"I won't," she promised, shooing Rachel away with her hands. "Now get home, or you're going to be the one freezing."

Rachel reluctantly left, trying not to look back at the girl still sitting on the swing too many times. As she was running, the full impact of what had just transpired started to sink in, and the weight of it brought her to a sudden crashing halt.

.

She didn't know how that little realization had taken her so long- she had been through a whole class on spotting the signs of abuse when she had volunteered one time at a local community center.

Her thoughts immediately flew to the images she had seen in the slideshow that was the culmination of the presentation, and she pictured Quinn's father in amongst the other abusers. He had to be the one doing it, unless Quinn had somehow managed to acquire a boyfriend overnight.

Now furious with herself for not realizing it sooner so that she could drag the blonde home with her, Rachel sprinted back to the park, but to her dismay the swing was now vacant. Scanning the playground and finding no sign of the blonde, Rachel sighed dejectedly and began to slowly walk home.

Her thoughts spiraled around and around, always coming back to the general shock. If she had a quarter for every time those words had run through her mind in the last twenty minutes, she would be well on her way to rich. She just didn't understand- how could she and everyone else have possibly missed this?

This was something huge, something monumental and life-changing, and somehow, Quinn had managed to keep everyone in the dark. Now that she knew, though, Rachel found herself at a loss as to what to do. She didn't really have any proof, and she didn't think that asking around about it was exactly a good option, and she just really didn't know what she should be doing at a time like this.

All of her careful planning about how high school was going to go did not, by any means, include happening upon Quinn Fabray in a park at one in the morning, only to come to the realization that her life was not, in fact, perfect.

Sighing as she unlocked her door and slipped inside, Rachel forced her brain to slow down and stop for a minute. Yes, she had seen the bruises. Yes, she had seen a slideshow on the signs of abuse. Yes, she always thought she was right. But honestly? There was no way in hell that Rachel Berry was the one to uncover Quinn's deep dark secret.

Forcing her mile-a-minute brain to actually consider the facts, she realized that maybe, yes, Quinn's bruise could have been from Cheerios practice. In fact, basically all of the Cheerios had bruises on their arms and legs from being dropped or caught awkwardly, and Rachel realized with growing relief that she had just been jumping to conclusions.

Exhaling as she climbed into bed, she let her eyes fall closed. She couldn't even articulate how glad she was that she had only been overreacting. The thought of anything bad happening in Quinn Fabray's perfect life was just overwhelming and somehow wrong, and she felt a sense of calm that the order of things had been restored.

Even with her newfound justification and mental logical analysis, however, she found her dreams haunted by tear-stained cheeks and blonde hair glinting in moonlight. Even with all of her efforts at reassuring herself that her initial assumption had been just that- an assumption- she couldn't chase a certain blonde from her thoughts. Even with everything she had pieced together to put her mind at ease, she still tossed and turned restlessly into the early morning, because even with all of her logical explanations, she couldn't help but wonder- _what if._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine. Woe.

Warning: This fic deals with abuse of all kinds involving a minor. If this is triggering for you, please don't read.

A/N: Thank you so, so much to everyone who reviewed! It was great to see what you thought of the story so far, and I appreciate you taking the time to read and review!

A/N2: Cross posted to lj.

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Quinn inhaled deeply, breathing in the soothing scent of citrus and vanilla. Burying her face a little more deeply in Rachel's hoodie, she exhaled and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over for what felt like the millionth time. Curling up inside the tunnel of the jungle gym, Quinn squeezed her eyes shut tightly, determined not to cry any more.

She had just wanted to get away from her house and be able to get a safe night's rest without worrying about her door opening in the middle of the night and an intruder with alcohol on their breath. She had been trying to get down the stairs when her mom had caught her and grabbed her hard, pinning her against the wall and demanding to know why she was leaving. Quinn hadn't been able to get free, and she had winced as she felt her mother's fingers dig in further, knowing there would be bruises.

She hadn't been able to smell anything on her mom, and she prayed that reason would work as she quickly concocted a story about staying over at Santana's house because they had Cheerios practice earlier than normal and were going to carpool. There was a long, painful moment in which Quinn felt the beginnings of dread in her stomach and tried to mentally brace herself for what was likely about to happen. After another second, however, her mom had let her go with a grunt and a wave of her hand, and Quinn had bolted for the door.

The feeling of relief was overwhelming, and she hadn't stopped to grab a jacket in her haste to make it out the door before her mom could change her mind. The moment the freezing night air hit her she mentally kicked herself for making such a stupid mistake, knowing it meant she had a long, cold night ahead of her.

There was no way she was actually going to Santana's- the latina was her friend, but if Quinn showed up in the middle of the night with bruises the other girl wasn't going to let it drop. Quinn knew she wouldn't be able to withstand the constant questions and worried looks, and if Santana got fed up with waiting and started asking around, or told someone else...no. It was too risky to go to the brunette's house, even if it would mean a warm place to sleep. Instead, Quinn found herself walking in the direction of the park that was a few miles away, knowing she could stay the night there without interruption.

She had been sitting on the swings, wishing desperately for a jacket as the wind picked up, and she had nearly jumped out of her skin when who should come and sit down next to her but Rachel Berry. Quinn hadn't known what to do; she was tired and half-frozen, and there was enough hurt in the world without her adding to it right then with snark and snide comments. Rachel had been quiet, surprisingly so, but when she started talking, she had been so..._nice_. She was kind and sounded like she genuinely wanted to help, and-

Quinn felt her eyes prickle at the memory and forced herself to stop thinking. She tried to ground herself in the sweet scent of Rachel's hoodie and the way the material was soft against her skin. She tried to take deep, even breaths and focus on Rachel's hoodie- if she could distract herself with that, she was hopeful that the tears would stop.

When she finally felt she could open her eyes without crying, she blinked them open slowly and stared up at the ceiling of the tunnel, reaching up to trace the spray paint and sharpie emblazoned across the ceiling with a finger.

She had the swirling patterns and letters virtually memorized at this point- the park was her most common haunt when she couldn't be in the house any more, when she needed somewhere safe and quiet and calm to think and be by herself for a while. The tunnel shielded her from view and protected her from most weather, and while it wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, it was a good spot all around.

As her fingertip traced a star directly above her head, Quinn watched as her sleeve slid down her arm and the livid bruises became visible once more. She hadn't expected anyone to be out in the park this late at night, and when she had run out the door she hadn't thought to worry about the marks being seen. It had been stupid to assume that, and she knew she would have to be more careful in the future. Half grumbling under her breath that _Rachel Berry_, of all people, would be the one to decide a late night run was in order, Quinn let her arm drop and watched as the sleeve fell back into place.

Nobody would know that there was anything wrong, or that she was anything less than perfect, as long as the sleeve stayed where it was supposed to. It was miserable, not having anyone to turn to, but she knew it was better that way. If nobody knew, then she could go on pretending that she was just Quinn Fabray, cheerleader and head bitch at McKinley, the blonde with the perfect life.

She could pretend for those few precious hours during the school day that she actually had that life, that she was honestly the bitch who didn't care what anyone thought because she already had it all. For those hours, she could almost make herself believe the lies she fed to everyone around her.

It was like when she was little.

She had loved to pretend that she was a princess, locked away in a tower, just waiting for her true love to come rescue her. She had played for hours, and by about the second hour in, she nearly had herself convinced that magic was real and she was wearing beautiful dresses instead of her jumper. If she tried hard enough, she could hear the sound of hooves as her true love came to rescue her and take her far, far away. She had always hoped that if she believed, then she could make everyone else believe too, and then it might not be pretend anymore.

Now that she was older, she had given up on anyone ever rescuing her, and she knew that she most definitely was not a princess. During the school day, however, the game was the same: make herself believe that she was normal and happy, because then hopefully she could convince everyone else too.

She had changed, growing older and more jaded, but the game had stayed the same.

She felt loneliness threatening to bubble up from deep in her chest at the thought that nobody actually knew her, but she quashed it quickly. She had made it this far without anyone being the wiser for it, and she would much prefer to keep it that way.

Thinking back on her interaction with Rachel earlier that night, Quinn sighed. She was just lucky that the diva hadn't pushed for more information, and had accepted Quinn's obviously fake explanation relatively easily. Quinn let loose a frustrated sigh as she remembered how easily Rachel had offered to let the blonde go home with her. After years of being mean to the petite brunette, the girl was still selfless enough to offer her home to her tormentor because she _thought_ she might be in trouble.

Letting her head thunk back against the side of the tunnel, Quinn closed her eyes briefly. It wasn't that she didn't like Rachel. It was just...people expected her to pick on the brunette since she was a social pariah, and Quinn couldn't do anything that might arouse suspicion. She needed to play by the rules and get by with as little scrutiny as possible, and if that meant that she had to pretend to hate Rachel? Then she would do it.

She felt guilty every time she saw the poor girl, with her hopeful eyes and bright smile, because she knew that her hope would be doused quickly by the sting of ice-cold slushy. She wished there was another way, because really- Rachel was _so nice_, and she didn't deserve the torment that Quinn put her through.

Quinn fingered the hoodie she was still holding and debated whether or not to actually put it on. It felt awful to accept kindness from someone she was so routinely cruel to, but...it was freezing, and as a violent shiver shook her body she gave in and decided she would just find a way to pay Rachel back.

Slipping it on, she breathed in deeply as she was enveloped in that wonderful smell. She didn't know how she hadn't noticed it before now, because it smelled like heaven and warmth and safety all rolled in to one. Flipping on to her side and curling up into a ball, Quinn pillowed her head on one arm and closed her eyes.

As she waited to fall asleep, her thoughts swung back to Rachel. The brunette might be curious, and curiosity might be bad, but Quinn wouldn't be the one to call for extra slushies to try to dissuade the girl from asking more questions. After how kind Rachel had been, it seemed unnecessarily cruel to thank her for her trouble by having her slushied.

Groaning, she turned over, wincing as her back ached where a picture frame had dug into it earlier. If she had just been more careful in the first place, this whole situation could have been avoided. If she had just made sure to wear sleeves that didn't ride up, if she had been wearing a jacket, if she had been able to control her stupid flinching reflexes...but no.

She hadn't been able to do any of those things, and now she was stuck with Rachel Berry, but more than that, she was stuck with one Rachel Berry who was suspicious about her home life. All of her careful planning about how to make it through high school and then as far away as possible most certainly did not involve anything about Rachel Berry stumbling across her at one in the morning in a public park.

The poor girl had no idea what was going on, and Quinn knew there was no way that the little brunette would ever understand. Rachel had made a simple comment in passing about how she wouldn't be Quinn's mother, completely oblivious to what that might mean to the blonde, and Quinn didn't know if that obliviousness would ever change, or if it even could.

She supposed that she shouldn't be surprised that Rachel assumed her mother was nurturing and loving, if a bit over-protective. After all, that _was_ the perfect family portrait she painted at school.

Still, though, there were so many societal stigmas and stereotypes about how the father was the abusive one and the mother a passive bystander that Quinn didn't know how to even begin to deconstruct them. She knew that Rachel would most likely be far less judgmental and open-minded due to her own experience with stigmas and stereotypes around having two gay fathers, but that would only go so far.

Having an absentee father who whored around on business trips because his wife was crazy wasn't ideal, but when you added in the fact that her mother was...no. There was no way that simply being open-minded would be enough to let Rachel understand.

The diva was so far removed from Quinn's life and what went on behind closed doors that the blonde wasn't sure it was possible for her to comprehend the reality of it. Hell, it was her life, and _she_ still sometimes couldn't believe it was real, that it was happening to _her_.

Exhaling deeply and deciding that she would cross the bridge of what to do about Rachel when she came to it, Quinn let her muscles slowly relax. She resolved to be more careful around the brunette, and to put extra energy into school in the coming days. She had been pretending for so long that she didn't know how to do anything else anymore.

As she drifted off, Quinn had very nearly convinced herself that she would be fine on her own, but for the rest of the night her dreams were filled with hopeful brown eyes and the scent of citrus and vanilla.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine. Woe.

Warning: This fic deals with abuse of all kinds involving a minor. If this is triggering for you, please don't read. It's not especially graphic yet, but it may get there.

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When Rachel had walked into school the morning after seeing Quinn in the park, she had been unsure what to expect. On the one hand, Quinn had at least been a _tiny_ bit nicer to her since joining glee club, and the slushies had mostly been stopped. On the other hand, however, Rachel knew that Quinn might be displeased with the encounter and the brunette's curiosity, and might opt for ordering a barrage of slushies.

While she was hopeful that the tentative truce they had struck up would hold, Rachel had decided it was foolish to be naïve about things, and had come to school prepared with multiple outfits, hair products, water-proof makeup, and a pink poncho on. The first step through the front doors of the school was absolutely terrifying, and she had braced herself for the icy sting of a slushy hitting her face. When none came, she chanced a quick look around, and was immensely relieved to discover that there weren't hordes of slushy-bearing tormentors waiting to bring her down.

Rachel had been surprised at the apparent leniency that Quinn was showing her, but had determined that it was best to keep the poncho on for the duration of the day...just in case. Her morning classes passed without incident, and she found herself slowly lowering her guard. By the time lunch came around, she was fairly confident that Quinn wasn't going to lash out at her via slushy attack, and the knowledge warmed her. It wasn't exactly a sign of friendship, but it was certainly a vast improvement over their relationship in the past.

Going to her locker to get her lunch, Rachel had tried to force herself to stay alert in case the morning had just been some sort of elaborate ploy on the blonde's part to lull her into a false sense of security. The trip to her locker was uneventful, and there weren't any unfortunate surprises waiting for her when she opened her locker. She had grabbed her lunch and the books she needed for the afternoon before half-running to the choir room. While Quinn may not have ordered any slushy attacks, it was still never a good idea to stay in the empty halls during lunch.

Once the choir room door closed behind her, Rachel had breathed a sigh of relief. She stripped off the poncho, which had become uncomfortably hot, and went to sit by the piano. The room was always empty at lunch, and it provided her with a safe haven to just relax and rejuvenate before going back out into the halls of the school. Taking out her iPod, she frowned at the tangled headphones. Normally she was meticulous about wrapping the headphones in such a way that they were easily accessible, and she mentally chided herself for having been in such a hurry.

Popping in the earbuds after wrestling with the cord for a few moments, Rachel unpacked her lunch and began to eat, humming along with the song. Her thoughts drifted back to the previous night- well, technically just earlier in the morning, but it felt like ages had passed since the strange encounter with Quinn in the park. Seeing the blonde outside of school was a shock in and of itself, but Rachel still wasn't sure how to process not only seeing the blonde, but also seeing her crying, giving her a sweatshirt so she didn't freeze, and offering to let the other girl come home with her all in the space of a few minutes.

The whole event seemed like a dream, and Rachel was almost inclined to believe that was actually all it had been. Granted, that brought up a whole new set of conflicting emotions and questions about why she was dreaming of Quinn, but it still seemed easier to work through than what had happened on the swings. If it wasn't for the tangled headphones, Rachel would have been content to chalk the incident up to a vivid dream, but she distinctly remembered being so distressed over the encounter that she had thrown her iPod and headphones haphazardly into her bag upon reaching her room.

Rachel was jerked from her musings by a gentle hand tapping her shoulder. Whirling around, she was stunned to see Quinn standing there, looking at her apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but you didnt hear me when I tried to talk to you and your eyes were closed..." The blonde trailed off as Rachel opened and closed her mouth ineffectually.

"Quinn! What are- I mean, what- why are you-" Stopping and huffing at her inability to compose a full sentence, Rachel finally managed to choke out, "What are you doing here?"

Looking mildly amused by the brunette's sudden loss of vocabulary, Quinn said, "I, uh...well, I wanted to return your hoodie from last night." She thrust her arms out and Rachel noted that she did indeed have her hoodie grasped tightly in her hands. Still unsure of how best to respond, Rachel looked up at the blonde and nodded.

"That was...umm...very thoughtful of you, Quinn," she finally said, proud of herself for managing to string together words without too many problems.

Looking distinctly uncomfortable, Quinn looked down at her feet and fidgeted before saying, "Yeah. It was...uh...really nice of you to offer it to me in the first place. It was freezing out there, and as I believe you pointed out, I wasn't exactly dressed for the weather."

Smiling a little at how awkward Quinn was, Rachel said, "Well, I'm glad to see that you didn't freeze. I don't know what we would do without you in glee club!"

Forcing a half-smile, Quinn nodded again, trying to think of something to say. No words came, and Rachel didn't take the hoodie from her. At a loss over what to do, Quinn stood there and waited for the brunette to do something. After a few more minutes of painful awkward silence, during which Rachel carefully scrutinized the blonde, Quinn finally broke and said quietly, "I wanted to say thank you, I guess."

Surprised at the blonde's comment, Rachel softly said, "I'm honestly a little surprised you didn't have me drowned in slushy today."

Grimacing at how little the diva expected of her, Quinn tried to lighten the mood by joking, "Well, the thought did cross my mind!" When she didn't get a response from Rachel, she sighed. "I'm sorry, Rachel. You don't deserve the slushies. Especially after last night...it seemed low even for me to thank you for your kindness with a slushy to the face."

Rachel was left flabbergasted once more, unsure which part of the blonde's statement she was most surprised about. There was the fact that she was sorry...or the fact that she had said the brunette didn't deserve the slushies...or that one little comment about how it was low, _even for her_. Rubbing her temples and trying to figure out if she might still be dreaming, or she had perhaps stumbled into some alternate universe in which Quinn Fabray liked her, she closed her eyes for a moment.

When she opened them, she found Quinn watching her, a vaguely anxious look on her face. Exhaling slowly and deciding that she might as well just run with things, Rachel gestured at the space next to her. "Would you care to join me?" When the blonde hesitated, she hastily added, "If you have better places to be, or things to do, that's totally fine. I completely understand that you probably have much higher priorities than eating lunch with Rachel Berry in the choir room, what with your status and all..."

The diva trailed off, mostly in shock, as Quinn just gave her a tiny half-smile and sat down next to her. The blonde draped the sweatshirt over both of their legs before reaching out shyly and taking one of the brunette's earbuds, popping it in to her own ear. Scrunching up her face in surprise, she asked, "You listen to Jay Malinowski?"

Still in shock (which was starting to become something of a permanent state), Rachel nodded. "I...umm, I didn't know you listened to him?" When the blonde shrugged and mumbled, "I know a couple songs," Rachel found herself smiling at how unintentionally adorable the other girl was when she was like this. Deciding that needling Quinn a little bit wouldn't hurt, she gently teased, "I _do_ listen to genres other than Broadway tunes, you know!"

Quinn looked panicked for a moment at the thought of having offended the brunette, but when she saw the small smile touching Rachel's lips she relaxed. Smirking now, she said, "Could have fooled me. Though I wouldn't limit you to Broadway tunes...you did sing that awful Miley Cyrus song in glee."

Faking offense, Rachel mock gasped, but it ended up dissolving into giggles at the facial expression Quinn had when she mentioned Miley Cyrus. When her laughter quieted, she looked over at Quinn and found the blonde regarding her with an unreadable look. Suddenly self-conscious, she asked, "What?" Shaking her head, Quinn murmured, "Nothing. Just...nothing."

Suddenly becoming fully aware that this was not, in fact, a dream, and that she was sitting with _Quinn Fabray_, Rachel hesitated before asking quietly, "Quinn?" When the blonde hummed a response, Rachel continued, hoping that she wasn't about to destroy whatever fragile peace they had suddenly found. "Not that I'm opposed to it at all, but...why are you being nice to me? Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful and I'm thrilled, but normally...we're not exactly friends, you know? And after last night, I was sort of gearing up for a confrontation, not...this."

Sighing at the questions, Quinn paused to collect her thoughts and make sure she didn't say anything she would regret. Starting slowly, she said, "I think...it's because of how nice you were to me last night. I mean, I know we're not really friends at all, and I've treated you horribly in the past, but you just...you didn't care. And I felt like maybe it was time to stop caring quite so much about what the social hierarchy thinks, and to figure out a way to thank you for that. I know it's not much, but I figure...maybe if we start small?"

Nodding enthusiastically at the blonde's last few words, Rachel beamed at her. "I would love that, Quinn! I realize that much of the venom you have directed towards me is a result of the standard high-school hierarchy and our differing social standings, in addition to your religious upbringing and my fathers. If you're willing to try, though, I would be thrilled to get to know you better! Perhaps you'd like to come over after school?"

Unable to help but smile and nod in acquiescence at the grinning girl, Quinn closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. The sounds of the song drifted through the earbud, and she felt her smile grow.

_There's a light, now there's a light_

_Coming down that mountainside_

It had been risky on her part, but she had decided that thanking Rachel for her kindness was more important than maintaining her icy facade. She reasoned that, if she befriended the brunette, maybe she could help to assuage any misgivings the brunette might have about her home life, and thus protect herself from further questioning.

She had not, however, factored in how nice it would feel to perhaps have a friend who was interested in _her_, not her popularity. Hearing Rachel sigh contentedly beside, her, Quinn's smile grew softer. If she was careful, she had a feeling that she might have just discovered a light to see her through.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine. Woe.

Warning: This fic deals with abuse of all kinds involving a minor. If this is triggering for you, please don't read. It's not especially graphic yet, but it may get there.

A/N: So this is a lovely intermediary chapter...I needed a way to get from point A to point B, and thus this chapter was born. It's shorter than the others, but hopefully it'll tide you over till I can get the next chapter up tomorrow night =)

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Quinn hesitated as she stood in front of the Berry's front door, unsure whether she really wanted to knock or not. Yes, Rachel had invited her over, but...it seemed a little fast for forgiveness and friendship, even for the diva. Quinn couldn't help but worry that maybe the brunette had thought better of her offer and would refuse to let her in, or perhaps sic her fathers on the blonde in revenge.

Muttering under her breath about being paranoid and irrational, Quinn forced her hand to rise but couldn't quite bring herself to actually make her hand come in contact with the door. Instead, her knuckles stopped mere centimeters away, and Quinn let out a defeated sigh. It was pathetic, but she wasn't sure that she could handle rejection from the brunette, and she reasoned that it was probably best if she just cut off the friendship before it could really get started.

After all, Rachel hadn't even mentioned the incident in the park or whether the blonde had a safe place to go home to. Since trying to keep an eye on the brunette had been her main motivation in even talking to the other girl, Quinn tried to tell herself that there was no other reason to try to maintain communications with her.

After another few seconds of indecision, Quinn bit her lip and slowly turned away from the door. Walking slowly, she wrapped her arms around herself tightly to try to ward off the chill in the air as she contemplated where to go. The temptation to turn around was strong, and she barely caught herself as her head started to turn to look back at the house. Shaking her head at herself, she started walking more quickly, unsure how long her resolve would last.

As the blonde disappeared around the corner, Rachel sighed from her spot in the second-floor window. She had been watching Quinn wage some sort of internal war at her front door, and had been hopeful that the other girl had decided to finally knock when she raised her hand. The disappointment when her arm dropped after a few seconds of doing nothing was extreme, and Rachel had to fight to keep from throwing open the window and shouting at the blonde's indecisiveness.

As much as she wanted Quinn to make good on her decision to be nicer, she also wanted it to be the blonde's decision and not something she was pressured into. Reluctantly getting up from her perch, she padded down the stairs. Her daddy was waiting for her and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Honey? Who was that?"

Rachel had told her fathers all of the stories about how Quinn tormented her at school, and she winced at the look on her daddy's face when she replied, "Quinn Fabray." Hastening to explain, she quickly said, "It's okay, Daddy, don't worry about her. She's decided to try to make amends, and so I invited her over."

Frowning, he asked, "Are you sure this isn't just some ploy on her part to try to get you to trust her so she can do something cruel?" At Rachel's incredulous look, he shrugged defensively. "What? After everything I've heard about her, I wouldn't put it past her!"

Growing frustrated with her daddy's reluctance to trust her judgment, Rachel waved off his concerns. "Daddy, it's fine, I promise. And even if it isn't, I think it's at least worth a try to see where things go. I invited her over so she would be on my territory, and so that if anythingwent wrong, I could simply ask her to leave."

Turning and going back up to her room, Rachel flopped back down on the bed. She had really wanted to believe Quinn earlier, but the blonde's departure from her doorstep left her feeling somewhat let down. Maybe it had all been too good to be true. Groaning and rolling over onto her stomach, she closed her eyes and decided to take a quick nap before dinner.

When she woke up, the house was dark and quiet. Going slowly down the stairs, she flipped the light in the kitchen on and saw a bright yellow note on the kitchen table telling her that her fathers had run to the store to pick up some ingredients they needed for dinner. Sighing, she was about to go back up to her room to start on some homework when she heard a knock on the door.

Unsure who might be there and slightly wary, she peeked through the eyehole and saw Quinn standing there, warm breath puffing around her face in the cool night air. Debating internally whether to open the door or not, Rachel was quickly won over by curiosity about what Quinn was doing outside her house- again. Opening the door, she saw a flash of relief pass across Quinn's face before it was quickly buried.

Waiting for the other girl to talk, Rachel watched with interest how uncomfortable Quinn seemed to be. After a few moments of silence and shuffling her feet, Quinn finally spoke. "I just…I wanted to say sorry, for earlier. I know I said I would come over, and I'm really sorry that I didn't keep my word."

Looking down at her feet and preparing for an angry lecture, Quinn was unprepared for the brunette's simple, "Okay."

Looking up quickly, as though unable to believe her ears, she asked, "Really?"

Nodding, Rachel said, "Really. I do, however, hope that you might be willing to try to do something again in the near future. If you're interested, I'm free this weekend and would be more than willing to host a sleepover."

A tentative smile broke over Quinn's face and she nodded eagerly. "I would love to, Rachel. I promise not to let you down again."

Raising an eyebrow at Quinn's choice of words, Rachel shrugged it off and smiled. "Wonderful. We can get some movies if you like, and I'm sure my dads will be thrilled to have someone else to cook for!"

Quinn blanched at the mention of Rachel's fathers. Trying to figure out a tactful way to ask if they hated her, she finally settled for just asking. "Are they…I mean, will they be all right with me coming over?"

Feeling suddenly protective at the way Quinn curled in on herself the tiniest bit, Rachel smiled reassuringly. "I'll talk to them, but once they find out that you're trying to amend past wrongs, I'm sure that they'll be amenable to you coming over. It shouldn't be a problem."

The anxious look on Quinn's face didn't entirely disappear, but she seemed to accept Rachel's answer. Forcing a half smile, she asked, "Okay. Did you have a specific time in mind?"

Smiling back, Rachel thought for a moment and then said, "How about Friday night? I don't want to interfere with any church-going plans you may have for Sunday morning or cause any undue inconvenience. If that doesn't work, though, then I'm more than happy to try to work something else out. I mean, really, whatever works best for you, I'll try to make it happen-"

Quinn cut Rachel's ramble off with a gentle smile as she spoke over her and said, "Rachel. Friday night works fine. Besides, you're the one having me over, so it's more about what works best for you than for me. Plus I already screwed up today, so I think I owe you one for that too." Blushing at her own ramble, Quinn forced herself to stop talking.

Grinning, Rachel nearly bounced up and down with excitement. "Wonderful! I look forward to seeing you then, Quinn!"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: The end is new...wrote myself into a wall and needed to fix it!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Quinn had a distinct feeling of deja vu as she stood in front of Rachel's front door. It was Friday night, and she was again staring the door down as though she could burn holes through it. She and Rachel had talked throughout the rest of the week and it had actually been really nice, but Quinn found herself once again plagued by doubt. If the diva's fathers hadn't believed Rachel when she told them the blonde had changed then she was screwed. If Rachel wanted to get her back for earlier in the week, she was screwed. If…well, there were just a lot of ways she might be screwed.

Trying to ignore all of the ways that things might go wrong, Quinn forced her hand to move forward and knock on the hard wood of the door, cringing at the harsh sound. There were a heart-stopping few seconds where nothing happened, and Quinn had almost convinced herself that Rachel had forgotten or changed her mind, but then the door was flying open and a bubbly brunette was tugging her inside the house eagerly.

As Rachel talked her ear off, Quinn felt a wave of relief sweep over her and she mentally chastised herself for being so quick to doubt the other girl. Trying to catch up to the conversation, Quinn managed to catch something about how Rachel's dads were gone for the weekend and wouldn't be back till Monday. Quinn felt a sweeping sense of relief that at least she wouldn't have to worry about them- Rachel was plenty intimidating all on her own.

Eying Quinn's bag, Rachel asked, "Do you want to put your stuff up in my room?" Still nearly shaking from relief that Rachel hadn't rejected her and that the brunette's fathers were gone, Quinn nodded and gestured for Rachel to lead the way. Going up the stairway to Rachel's bedroom, her eyes landed on what seemed like hundreds of paintings and drawings, accompanied by various photographs.

All of the hand-drawn ones were meticulously autographed in the lower right hand corner, and Quinn felt a small smile steal across her lips at how..._Rachel_ that seemed. The photographs were of Rachel and men that Quinn imagined had to be her fathers. All three of them looked absolutely joyful in every single picture. There were some where Rachel was pouting, or making faces, but Quinn caught herself thinking that this was what_ love_ looked like. She wished for a fleeting moment that she had someone who loved her, someone she could love in return and just be herself with.

Feeling a tug on her hand, she looked up and saw Rachel bouncing impatiently on the stairs. Grinning at the brunette's impatience, Quinn let herself be dragged the rest of the way up the stairs to the diva's room. The room was comfortably furnished, a large bed against one wall and a couch against the other. The walls were a shade of bright turquoise blue, and while there was the occasional star scattered around the room, for the most part it looked like any other teenager's room.

The window above the bed had black drapes, and when Rachel saw Quinn's confused look, she shrugged and said, "It gives me more even lighting when I'm recording videos." Nodding and accepting the answer, Quinn continued her perusal of the room. There was a small tv, a dark mahogany dresser with a mirror on top, and a small desk tucked away in the corner. Amused by Quinn's inspection of her room, Rachel asked, "So, does it meet your standards?"

Nodding seriously, Quinn gave the room another quick glance and said, "I suppose...though I think a few more stars might have added a nice touch."

There was a split second where Rachel didn't realize that Quinn was teasing, and she was gearing up to seriously defend her décor when it hit her. Mouth opening in mock outrage, she threw a pillow off the bed at Quinn, who deftly caught it and placed it on the couch.

Giggling, Rachel sat back on the bed, just watching Quinn and taking in how relaxed she appeared. The brunette didn't think that she had ever seen the blonde so at ease in all the years she had known her, and when the other girl shot a quick smile at Rachel, she was nearly blinded by its brightness. "So," Quinn said, "Did you have anything planned out for us to do? A step-by-step guide to the night, maybe?"

Shaking her head and pretending to glare at the blonde, Rachel huffed and said, "No, I most certainly do not!" Her bravado suddenly falling, she murmured, "Having never really had friends before, I wouldn't know where to start."

Quinn's heart felt like it was breaking as she watched the sudden shift in the brunette's behavior. Slowly going over to sit next to Rachel on the bed, she nudged her gently with her hip and said, "Guess that's something we'll have to remedy, hmm?" When Rachel looked up and met her gaze, her brown eyes were filled with so much hope it made Quinn's heart ache.

"Really?"

The diva's voice was uncharacteristically soft and hesitant, and Quinn nodded vehemently to try to reassure her. "Really really. Since it was mostly my fault you never had any friends, I think it's only fair that I get you caught up to speed. I have a feeling these types of skills may prove useful to you in the future."

Half an hour later, both girls were lying on Rachel's bed, a bowl of popcorn between them. Rachel wasn't really paying attention to the movie that was playing, instead trying to puzzle through Quinn's sudden change in attitude. It just...it didn't make sense. It all seemed too fast. She was thrilled that Quinn was willing to try to work through their differences, but watching movies and suddenly being best friends? It was too weird, and she found herself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

She knew that it was probably best if she just took the time that Quinn gave her and appreciated it while it lasted, but...they just seemed to click, and Rachel knew that if she let her guard down too much, if the blonde ended up ditching her it would be impossible to go back to being happy without her. The banter that was normally caustic and biting had become playful and teasing, and the blonde seemed to genuinely want to make things work.

Rachel knew, somewhere in a corner of her mind, that her daddy was probably right and Quinn was most likely leading her on with some ulterior motive. However, she was reluctant to accuse the blonde of such a thing for fear of ruining whatever friendship they could cobble together. The rational part of her brain quickly came up with a reason why she should stick things out with Quinn and see what happened- if the blonde really was being hurt at home, although that option had been decisively ruled out, but just in case- Rachel would be there to try to help.

Still, it seemed risky to allow the blonde to see this much of her life. While Rachel was all for second chances and forgiveness, she was loathe to be taken advantage of and used by Quinn, and she found herself fighting an internal war as to whether she should continue this...whatever it was.

Rachel was jolted out of her thoughts by a piece of popcorn hitting her squarely in the face. Whipping her head to face Quinn, her jaw dropped at the way the blonde was innocently staring at the tv screen. Opening and closing her mouth, Rachel finally settled for grabbing a piece of popcorn out of the bowl and throwing it at Quinn. It hit the blonde squarely in the cheek, and Rachel couldn't help but feel accomplished. The feeling quickly evaporated, however, as Quinn turned to her, a devilish smirk on her face.

Ten minutes later, the popcorn bowl was empty, and Rachel's room was covered with a thin layer of kernels. Gasping for breath through her laughter, Rachel fell back on the bed, grinning as Quinn crawled back up on the bed from her strategic spot on the floor. Flopping back onto the pillows, Quinn smiled over at her and reached over to gently pluck a stray piece of popcorn from her hair. Grinning, Rachel sighed happily and silently thought that having a friend was the best feeling in the world.

A sharp intake of breath to her left caused her to look over, and she saw Quinn staring back at her.

_Shit. _

Apparently her silent thinking was not so silent, but before she could backtrack or try to say anything, Quinn was giving her a pained smile and murmuring, "Yeah, Rach," before flipping over onto her back and staring resolutely at the ceiling.

Torn between being ecstatic that Quinn Fabray had just admitted (albeit in a very roundabout way) that they were friends or being concerned that she had killed the atmosphere, Rachel bit her lip and sidled closer to the blonde. Quinn rolled over so that she was on her side and incredibly close to being pressed up against Rachel. Letting out a small sigh, she looked up at the brunette and asked, "Movie?"

Nodding and taking the obvious out the blonde was giving her, Rachel nearly leaped off the bed to put in the next DVD from the pile they had agreed was acceptable. Moving back to the bed, she laid down hesitantly, glancing over at Quinn frequently. After a few minutes, she began to relax as the risk of the blonde leaving thanks to the ill-placed comment decreased. A half hour into the movie, she settled back into the pillows with a comfortable sigh.

Quinn glanced over at her, offering a small smile, before turning her attention back to the screen. After another half hour, Rachel looked over at Quinn and saw the blonde curled on her side, eyes closed and fast asleep. Pulling the covers up and over the blonde, she tensed when the other girl curled into her and ended with her head pillowed on her lap. After a few long moments, Rachel slowly relaxed and turned her attention back to the movie.

Her fingers ran gently through Quinn's hair of their own accord, and she glanced down at the girl every few minutes, amazed at how peaceful she was when she was sleeping. She absentmindedly began humming a song that had been a childhood favorite as her fingers continued to gently comb through silky blonde strands.

Rachel sat there long after the movie ended, just taking in how nice it felt to have Quinn nestled against her…in all honesty, how nice it felt just to be in the same room with the blonde without insults being hurled. She waited as long as possible before moving, afraid to break the spell that seemed to have fallen over them, but eventually her leg was asleep and she couldn't stand the feeling any longer.

Moving carefully so as not to disturb Quinn, Rachel untucked her leg and gently transferred Quinn's head to a pillow. When she was satisfied that she hadn't woken the blonde, Rachel silently stepped out of the room, turning the lights off and closing the door behind her. As long as she was awake and up, she saw no reason not to brush her teeth before going back to bed.

Going through her night-time regimen slowly and meticulously, she brushed her teeth before washing her face. She then flossed twice (a habit acquired after reading that people who flossed lived longer), and applied chapstick to ensure her lips didn't dry out overnight. Doing a few brief stretches to help prevent leg cramps, she finally turned the bathroom light off and padded back to her room.

She opened the door, and watched with a faint smile as the light from the hall spilled into the room, illuminating Quinn's sleeping form. Her shadow was dark against the carpet as she stepped into the room, but before she could take a second step Quinn whimpered, "Please don't." Confused, Rachel looked around to see what Quinn could possibly be referring to, but was met only with the standard décor of her room.

As she went to take another step, however, she was met with a second whimper and Quinn's voice, pleading this time as the blonde sat up in the bed. "Please, please just go away and leave me alone."

Now growing frustrated as well as confused, Rachel huffed and stepped forward, unsure what Quinn was playing at. She could barely see the blonde's figure in the dim light from the hallway, but as she moved forward she could clearly see Quinn trying to back away from her in the bed.

"Please don't hurt me, please just go away, please. I'll make it up to you, I promise, don't make me do anything, please!"

Quinn's voice was growing more and more frantic, and Rachel's frustration had dissolved into concern. Quinn seemed convinced that Rachel was going to hurt her, and the brunette took another step forward so that her knees were touching the bed, talking softly. "It's okay, Quinn, you're fine."

The blonde didn't respond, still muttering soft pleas under her breath, and Rachel climbed onto the bed, kneeling so that she was facing Quinn. Reaching out, she carefully placed a hand on Quinn's arm but the second their skin made contact the blonde recoiled form her touch, her back hitting the wall with a solid thump.

Moving forward a tiny bit more, Rachel tried more soothing words, murmuring, "It's all right, Quinn."

The brunette was unprepared for Quinn suddenly lashing out, her fist catching her on the lip, as the blonde cried, "It's _not _all right! Leave me _alone_!"

Rachel scrambled backwards off the bed, not stopping until her back hit the opposite wall. Her shoulder hit the light switch on accident, flooding the room with sudden light. As the room was illuminated, Quinn saw Rachel slide to the floor, a hand rising to touch her bleeding lip. Realizing what had happened, her hands flew to cover her mouth. 

"Oh god," she choked out, trying to find a way to apologize to Rachel. The brunette was looking up at her, features marred by confusion and hurt and maybe a tinge of anger. Opening her mouth to try to say something, _anything_, to take back what she had just done, Quinn found her throat blocked by tears. Pushing herself off the bed, Quinn stumbled out of the room, apologies flying over her shoulder as she ran out of the house.

She had thought…. God, it had just been another stupid nightmare, and she had woken up in bed, and had tried to tell herself that she was safe and it was just a dream. But then…then the door opened, the person standing there backlit by the hallway light. She hadn't been able to see their face, but she had seen this scene too many times before, and she knew what was going to happen.

On instinct, she had instantly begun pleading with them to stop, to go away and leave her alone, but they had kept coming, and she hadn't known what to do. She had tried backing away, but her back hit a wall, and for a moment she thought that it was strange, because her bed wasn't against a wall. But then the person kept coming, and they were about to pin her against the wall, and they just kept trying to tell her that it was okay, that everything was going to be fine. She had heard those lines before, and nothing was _ever_ okay. Nothing was _fine_, or _all right_, and she most certainly was not _okay_ in any sense of the word.

They had reached out for her again, still trying to tell her that it was okay, and she had snapped. They were lying, and she flailed desperately, trying to ward them off. She felt her fist connect with something, and she was yelling, trying frantically to make them just_ go away. _

And then the lights had come on. Instead of a faceless assailant, it was Rachel who was left bleeding on the floor, and Quinn didn't know how to deal with that. She didn't know how to explain what she had thought was going on, because really? There wasn't any way to tell the brunette that she had thought that she was going to…well there just wasn't any way to explain that. Especially not with Rachel staring up at her, so hurt and confused about why the blonde had lashed out at her.

Running had been the easiest option, because in that moment Quinn was certain that not only had she just destroyed any hope she had of getting Rachel to believe things were fine, but she had also most likely destroyed any chance they might have had at friendship. The thought killed her, and she felt tears running down her cheeks as she ran for the park. Curling up inside the tunnel, she sobbed as she wished desperately for a way to fix things.

Back in the Berry household, Rachel was still sitting on the floor of her room, in mild shock over what had just happened. She had no idea how things had gone so quickly from being calm and friendly to _this_. It felt like a dream, but as she reached up to touch her lip again, she winced at the sting. No, it wasn't a dream, but that didn't make it any easier to understand. 

It was like Quinn hadn't had any idea where she was, or who she was with. In the split second after the lights had turned on but before Quinn seemed to realize what she had done, the look on her face had been...it had been some sort of horrible combination of terror and shame and anger and a muddle of other emotions too complex for Rachel to identify. It was a haunted look, and Rachel had immediately wanted nothing more than to make it disappear. 

She had raised her hand then, more out of instinct than anything, to check her lip and see how bad it was. The motion had drawn Quinn's attention, and the expression on her face had morphed into something else entirely. The terror was still there, but it was different now. Quinn looked scared of what she had done, and there was a pained sort of embarrassment enveloping the other emotions. Before Rachel could think to say or do anything, the blonde was up and out of the room, tearful "I'm sorrys" thrown over her shoulder as she went. 

Rachel had been sitting up against the wall since, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do in a situation like this. She had been angry at Quinn for all of two seconds, but the second the blonde was gone the anger had dissolved into worry. Normal, happy, well-adjusted people didn't feel the need to defend themselves when they were sleeping, and they certainly weren't terrified when a friend walked into their room at night. Obviously there was some larger issue that Quinn was dealing with, and Rachel was growing more and more concerned about what that issue was based on her interactions with the blonde. 

Pushing herself up off of the floor, Rachel walked to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth from under the sink. Dousing it in cold water, she dabbed her lip gingerly, grimacing as it started to bleed a little bit. Holding the washcloth against the lip until the bleeding stopped, she sighed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She looked disheveled and tired, and the slight swelling around her lip certainly wasn't helping. 

Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she went back to her room and threw on some warmer sweatpants, a sweater, a fleece, and then grabbed her heavy coat. She doubted Quinn had gone home, or to anyone else's house, and there was no way she was about to let the blonde spend the night outside. On her way out the door, she grabbed her mittens and scarf for good measure. It was cold outside, and she doubted Quinn would come willingly, but she would be damned if she let Quinn run away from this without a fight.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Oh gosh. So, so sorry for how much I've been slacking on this fic. I will maybe have more stuff to post because I have the easiest (read: most boring) summer job ever...well, one of them at least. But seriously. You probably don't even remember this fic it's been so long since I've updated or done anything with it...oh, and the end of chapter 5 is different now. So yeah.

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As she walked past the park, she glanced over at the empty swings and her steps slowed. Quinn had gone to the park before, for whatever reason...maybe she had gone there again.

"Quinn?"

Her voice sounded lonely in the chilled air, and she shivered as she walked slowly towards the playground. Quinn obviously wasn't on the swings, but Rachel had a nagging feeling that the blonde was somewhere nearby. She glanced at the visible playground, searching for any clues as to where the other girl might be. After a long minute, however, she began to grow frustrated when she didn't spot the blonde.

Skimming the area visually one last time, her gaze caught on something she hadn't noticed before. There was a tunnel, tucked neatly underneath the slide and almost hidden from view. It would be the perfect hiding place if Quinn needed to get out of the elements and out of sight, but Rachel still approached cautiously. It never hurt to be too careful, and she didn't want to risk disturbing anyone else should the tunnel be occupied by someone other than Quinn.

Leaning down to peer into the tunnel, Rachel let out a sigh of relief when she saw the blonde, but her heart immediately constricted as the sounds of quiet sobbing reached her ears. Trying not to startle the other girl, Rachel whispered, "Quinn?"

When the blonde made no move to acknowledge her, Rachel sighed and clambered into the tunnel. It was cramped with both of them inside, and Rachel struggled for a few moments to find a position that wasn't entirely uncomfortable. Once she was settled, she looked over at Quinn, who was studiously looking everywhere but the brunette. Even in the bad light, Rachel could see the tear tracks staining her cheeks, and she struggled internally against her impulse to reach out and grab the blonde to her to comfort her.

Much as it pained her to acknowledge, there was a distinct possibility that physical contact and restraint was the last thing the blonde would find comforting, but she had to do something. Slowly, she reached out a hand and carefully laced her fingers with Quinn's, squeezing gently.

Quinn's breath hitched at the simple gesture and she quickly glanced at Rachel to try to gauge the smaller girl's intent. Her eyes immediately fixated on the slight swelling around the diva's lip, and Quinn cringed as a fresh wave of tears started. Turning so she was on her side, she reached out hesitantly, eyes flicking between Rachel's brown orbs and her lip to judge her reaction.

When Rachel didn't move to stop her, Quinn let her hand settle on the brunette's cheek, her thumb brushing gently against the bruised lip. Looking back up to meet Rachel's gaze, Quinn was barely able to murmur, "I'm so sorry," around the lump in her throat. As the tears spilled over, she kept mumbling her apology, not knowing how she could ever make things okay again.

The sound of Quinn's voice, choked with tears, made Rachel's chest clench painfully. Squeezing the hand still clasped tightly in her own, she tried to convey without words that it was going to be all right, that she forgave her and things were okay with them.

Eventually Quinn's tears slowed, and her apologies tapered into hoarse whispers. Searching the blonde's face, Rachel saw the clear signs of exhaustion, and she sighed before shimmying out of the tunnel, making sure not to let go of Quinn's hand. When the other girl watched her fearfully, clearly waiting for her to pull away and leave her, Rachel shook her head.

"Come on, we're going to go get some sleep."

When Quinn opened her mouth to protest, Rachel cut her off gently.

"If you still want to talk about it in the morning, we can do it then. For now, I think the most important thing for both of us is to rest so that we can be in a solid state of mind if and when that conversation occurs."

Quinn's eyes were still wary, flitting across Rachel's face as though searching for any sign of insincerity, but she let Rachel tug her out of the tunnel. As they started to walk, a strong gust of frigid wind blasted them, and Rachel saw the blonde visibly shiver. Exhaling, she gently pulled Quinn into her side, wrapping an arm around the other girl in an attempt to ward off the chill.

Quinn looked up at her from underneath long lashes, and Rachel's breath caught in her throat at the emotion she could see swirling in hazel eyes. There was such surprise, mixed with confusion and thankfulness...it made the brunette's heart drop at the realization that Quinn was obviously not used to anyone taking an active interest in her well-being. The blonde opened her mouth, but no words came out, and she simply shook her head before leaning into Rachel's side and accepting the warmth the other girl was offering.

The walk back was long and silent- Rachel couldn't think of anything to say, and she didn't want to inadvertently push Quinn away. Quinn, on the other hand, felt like she was in a dream. There was no other explanation for why Rachel would come find her after what she had done. She kept stealing furtive glances at the smaller girl, but she was too scared of breaking the spell they both seemed to be under to try to say anything.

Instead, she settled for squeezing the brunette's hand, lacing their fingers together and not letting go for the entire walk back. She hoped that the small gesture could convey at least a tiny bit of what she was feeling, and that Rachel would somehow understand that she couldn't talk because she didn't have the words.

When they finally reached the door that Quinn had become so acquainted with over the past week, Rachel paused as she opened it. For a brief moment, Quinn was terrified that the diva had changed her mind and decided she didn't want a crazy girl in her house, but then she was being pulled inside the house as the door shut behind her. She was instantly enveloped in warmth, and as her body thawed, a wave of exhaustion hit her hard. As she felt her muscles start to give out, strong arms encircled her, keeping her upright.

Later, she would ponder the sheer feat of strength and will it must have been for Rachel to get her up the stairs and into the bedroom, but the little brunette somehow managed to get her into bed and under the covers. Moments later, she was sliding into the bed next to Quinn, who hesitantly curled up next to her, just barely resting her head on Rachel's shoulder. When the brunette didn't move away, she gradually allowed herself to relax.

Rachel smiled as she felt some of the tension drain from the blonde's body, and she exhaled slowly, letting her eyes close.

"Rachel?"

The question brought her back from the edge of sleep, and she murmured, "Yeah?"

There was a pause, and then- "I'm sorry for what happened. And...thank you for letting me come back here anyways. I know it can't have been an easy decision, and I just want you to know that it really means a lot to me."

A moment of quiet followed the soft declaration, punctuated only by the hushed sounds of their breathing. Not really knowing what to say, Rachel just tipped her head down to press a gentle kiss to the top of Quinn's head, feeling the quiet exhalation of air that followed the motion. Relaxing back against the pillows, she let her eyes drift closed again.

Listening as Rachel's breathing evened out into sleep, Quinn blinked back more tears. She didn't understand how Rachel could be so welcoming of her after what she had done. She cringed as images of Rachel's face and the look on it as she touched her bleeding lip swam before her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she worked to calm herself, not wanting to wake Rachel with her tears.

When she felt at least a bit more under control, she sighed and let her thoughts drift to what was going to happen next. Fear spiked sharply in her as she realized that Rachel was going to want an explanation about what had happened. She knew that, no matter how much she wanted to, there was no way she could tell the brunette what she wanted (needed?) to hear, and she felt like kicking herself for being stupid enough to let things get this far.

Still, the comfort that Rachel provided was something so foreign and wonderful that she was reluctant to give it up. Breathing in deeply, she smiled as the scent of citrus and vanilla assaulted her senses, basking in the feeling of safety it granted her. She didn't know how long she had been laying there, just breathing in the sweet smell of Rachel Berry, but she was suddenly jerked out of her dozing state when Rachel shifted, an arm coming up to wrap around Quinn's body and pull her closer.

Glancing over at the clock, Quinn winced when she saw the time. _ 4:12_. There was just enough time for her to do what needed to be done. Gently sliding out from under Rachel's arm, she couldn't resist the urge to watch the sleeping girl for a moment, just reveling in how peaceful and happy she looked in her sleep. Sighing as she forced herself to move away, Quinn silently grabbed the notebook off of Rachel's desk and a pen from her drawer, sitting down on the floor to scribble a note.

It only took a few minutes, and it was composed of a disproportionate number of "I'm sorrys," but it would have to do. She stood and set the folded piece of paper on the side of the bed where she had been laying before turning her attention back to Rachel. She hoped desperately the the brunette would understand why she had to leave and wouldn't hate her for it. Unable to help herself, she leaned down and brushed a tender kiss against the sleeping girl's forehead before stepping quietly out of the room.

As she walked down the stairs and out the front door of the Berry residence, Quinn wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She wasn't ready to have any kind of conversation with Rachel about what had happened, but she still felt like a coward for running away in the dead of night. The other girl had been nothing but kind to her, even after she had hit her, and she was repaying her by running away before she could get the answers she so clearly wanted.

She looked back at the dark house over her shoulder as she reached the corner, half-expecting to see Rachel watching her from the window. Mercifully, the window was empty, and Quinn sent a silent prayer up to whoever might be listening that Rachel might be able to find a way to forgive her.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry that there's not more dialogue in this chapter, I was planning to have talking but then it sort of just didn't happen. Oh well. Next time! Also, let me know if this seems to wildly inconsistent with what's been happening...I couldn't decide! Oh, and just for clarification- I realize I've been taking a really roundabout approach to the prompt, but it will get more explicit in the near future. Conversations will be happening discussing some of what Quinn has gone through, and just as a reminder- she _is_ being sexually abused by her mom. Just so we're all clear. Cause I know that hasn't entirely been clear thus far!

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Rachel sighed as she saw the swish of Quinn's pony tail as the blonde briskly turned the corner, heading away from the brunette as fast as she could without arousing suspicion. It had been like this all week (which, given that it was Thursday, was pretty impressive), and Rachel was starting to get fed up with the blonde's evasion tactics. She just wanted to talk to Quinn and make sure that she was all right, but she hadn't been able to get within thirty feet of the cheerleader despite all her best efforts.

Groaning in defeat, she walked into her own class and sat down, slumping in the chair. All they were doing in class was listening to other people present on a topic Rachel knew backwards and forwards (the ACLU and landmark cases), and she quickly found her thoughts straying back to a certain blonde.

It had hurt to wake up on Saturday morning to find Quinn gone, a sheet of paper left in her place, but her frustration had quickly been replaced with concern as she skimmed the contents of the note. If she closed her eyes she could see the sheet of notebook paper, covered in Quinn's loopy scrawl, as the blonde tried to explain why she had left and why she couldn't be friends with Rachel any more.

_Rachel-_

_I am so, so sorry for everything I've done to you. I know you're probably angry at me right now since I left, but I had to- I couldn't stay after what I did. I know you were expecting to get some answers from me in the morning, and I'm sorry that the best I can offer you is a sincere apology and my intent to stay out of your life from now on. _

_Please, Rachel- I need you to let this be. Every time I get closer to you, you end up hurt, and I'm not going to be that person any more. I can't stand the thought that I keep causing you pain. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I hurt you again, physically or otherwise. You're the kindest, most generous and forgiving person I know, and so I hope you can find it in you to eventually forgive me. I know this must seem cruel, to have come into your life seeking friendship, only to abandon you, but it's for the best. I couldn't bear it if you ended up hurt again, and hurt is all that can come if you continue to pursue this._

_I want you to be happy, Rachel, and I want you to be happy without me. I know you don't owe me anything, but please- just give me this one thing. If you are happy, I will be happy too. You're too good for this town, Rachel. It means more than you could ever know that you were so willing to take a chance on me and invite me into your life, and I wish more than anything I could take back what I've done to hurt you. I can't, though, and so the best that I can do is to promise you that I will never hurt you again, and the only way for me to keep that promise is to stay out of your life._

_Be happy, Rachel. Please. That's all I really want. I'm sorry._

_-Quinn_

The note had just been so tragically resigned, and it made Rachel's heart ache. The sting of the blonde's departure had almost immediately been overwhelmed by a desire to better understand the cheerleader and her logic. Everything in the note hinted at the fact that Quinn's life was nowhere near as perfect as it seemed, and Rachel wondered briefly whether the girl realized that she had inadvertently acknowledged her suspicions.

It wasn't that she had been expecting Quinn to open up and share every detail about her life (though a small part of her had certainly maintained that wishful line of thinking)- she was trying to be realistic about the entire situation, and based on past precedent she had expected Quinn to want to run as far away as possible instead of trying to talk things out.

Based on this assessment, Rachel had resigned herself to a long and arduous struggle with the blonde if she had any chance of gaining her trust. Thus, Rachel had worked to come up with a plan so that if and when Quinn ran, she would be able to pursue her and at a minimum try to keep tabs on the girl's safety.

The problem, then, lay in the fact that Quinn was a good deal faster at running than Rachel had anticipated (both figuratively and literally), and the brunette had been struggling to catch up ever since she woke up to find her bed empty. As she had been thinking of potential plans when she was drifting to sleep the night before, she had considered the possibility that Quinn might refuse to answer her questions, but she hadn't banked on the blonde taking off while she was still asleep.

_Stupid._

That was the word that kept popping into her mind, and Rachel was barely able to bite back a groan as she thought about it for what had to be the millionth time.

If she had just been a bit more prepared, then maybe she wouldn't have to be following Quinn around like a lost little puppy. She was honestly surprised that the blonde had been letting her get away with it; under other circumstances, she would have been doused in slushy if she took so much as a step in the cheerleader's direction.

Instead, Quinn just kept flitting away, vanishing into thin air whenever she saw Rachel. It was one of the single most infuriating things Rachel had ever witnessed, and it irked her to no end that she wasn't able to compete with the blonde's determination to evade her. Before this week, she had no idea that McKinley was filled with so many random doorways and connecting hallways. She had half a mind to track down the architect and beat them over the head with the blueprints for the building, but that would require her to take time away from tracking Quinn down, and at the rate she was going it was already going to take ten years too long.

Grumbling under her breath as the bell rang and she stood to go to her next class, she racked her brain for any idea she hadn't tried yet. As she stepped out of the classroom, her gaze landed on a certain blonde cheerleader who was leaning casually up against a row of lockers. She could have sworn a lightbulb lit up above her head as the idea hit her. This plan was nothing short of inspired genius.

"Brittany!"

As the blonde turned in her direction, Rachel saw a flash of brunette hair on the girl's other side and felt all of her elation drain away in the space of a heartbeat. Her newly concocted plan most certainly did not involve having to willingly confront Santana, and she felt her steps falter for a split second at the thought of the slushies she might be inviting upon herself. In the next moment, however, images of Quinn flashed in front of her eyes, and she steeled her resolve. If this was what had to happen in order to successfully find Quinn, so be it.

Brightening her smile just the tiniest bit, she walked up to both girls.

"Santana, Brittany- I hope your day is going well?"

Looking her up and down with an air of faint disbelief, Santana muttered, "It was until you showed up."

Forging on, Rachel directed her attention to Brittany, who was watching her with a small smile on her face.

"I was wondering if either of you know where I might be able to locate Quinn during this hour. I have something regarding Glee that I desperately need to talk to her about."

Brittany grinned and said, "I don't know, but you should ask S! She's way better with remembering things like that!"

Reluctantly turning back to face Santana, Rachel almost shivered at the look the latina was giving her. Waiting patiently for the brunette to decide her fate, Rachel nearly sighed with relief when the other girl shrugged and relaxed her posture a bit.

"She usually goes to the auditorium to mess around on that big grand they have in there."

Rachel was practically bubbling with the success of her venture when the latina shot her a withering look.

"Just know that the only reason I'm telling you this is because Q expressly told me not to, and that I still harbor a deep and profound hatred of you and your fashion choices."

Nodding hurriedly, Rachel turned and tried not to sprint in the direction of the auditorium. She was a little surprised that, out of all the rooms in the school, the blonde would choose to go there, but she figured it was best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

As she reached the doors, she slowed her steps before coming to a stop, her hand only inches from the door. She hesitated for only a moment more before reaching out and pulling to door open. She caught it before it could slam, not wanting to do anything that might alert Quinn to her presence. When the door was safely shut, she stepped forward, keeping in the shadows. The soft notes of a piano reached her ears and she paused, just listening to the song.

She didn't think she had ever heard Quinn play before, and she idly wondered why that was as she let the notes wash over her. It was a gorgeous song, even without the blonde singing, and she tried to place where she might have heard it before.

As the last haunting notes rang in the large space, she slowly stepped out from her hiding spot and approached Quinn slowly. She hadn't been able to see the cheerleader from where she had been standing, but as she drew closer and the blonde came into view she became concerned. Quinn was hunched over the piano, and as Rachel drew nearer she saw the girl's shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Not wanting to startle the other girl, Rachel slowly altered her course so that she ended up just slightly in front of Quinn. Kneeling on the ground in front of the piano bench, she hesitantly reached out a hand to rest lightly in Quinn's knee. The blonde stiffened slightly at the gesture, but after a long moment she relaxed, and her hand slowly came down to cover Rachel's.

Waiting to see what Quinn would do, Rachel was surprised when the blonde scooted over on the bench and tugged her up and onto it. When she was seated, she once again forced herself to remain still until Quinn sighed and leaned into her. So slowly she wasn't sure she was actually moving, Rachel let her head come to rest on Quinn's shoulder, breathing a sigh of relief when the blonde relaxed into her.

Quinn felt herself trying to rebel, but she wasn't able to jerk her body away from Rachel like her mind was screaming at her to do. Playing the piano had always been a safe place for her, a chance to work everything through and just let go. It was one of the few times where she was able to drop her guard and let her emotions come pouring out, and so when Rachel found her...well, with her walls already broken down, she was no match for the brunette's slow display of kindness and concern.

Rachel, on the other hand, had no idea why Quinn was letting this happen or why she was being so open, but she decided she would just let things go and see where they ended up. Inhaling slowly, Rachel breathed in the scent of Quinn's shampoo- some heavenly mixture that was sweet and tangy and entirely intoxicating. She let her fingers come up and gently trail a path across the cheerleader's back, drawing careful shapes as she went. The sound of the breathing was soothing, and Rachel found her eyes sliding closed against their will. It was just so peaceful, and it felt so unbelievably right to be sitting with Quinn pressed tightly against her.

The abrupt ring of a bell sent Quinn jolting upright, and Rachel found herself blinking in confusion. There was no way they had been sitting there for that long...but no, that had definitely been the bell, and so she must have been too lost in the haze of Quinn to notice the passage of time. Glancing over at the blonde, Rachel felt her heart drop as she saw the girl busying herself by packing her book bag in preparation to leave.

Standing and going over to her, Rachel reached out a hand and caught Quinn's slender fingers, tangling them with her own. Tugging gently until the blonde looked up at her, she looked beseechingly at her and asked, "Stay?"

Looking down at Rachel, Quinn felt her heart drop at the vulnerability etched across the girl's face, and despite her best efforts she felt herself nodding and slowly dropping to the floor to sit next to the brunette. She exhaled slowly, frustrated that Rachel couldn't just leave her alone and go about her own life in her perky, annoyingly enthusiastic way. She had thought that her note had made it perfectly clear that she had no interest in dragging Rachel into her life, but apparently the little diva was too dense to take a hint.

She just...couldn't bear the thought of Rachel getting hurt. There was nothing she wanted more than to protect the little brunette, to keep her safe from all the evils of the world. It wasn't even a question in Quinn's mind that Rachel would become tainted as she was tainted if she came to learn the truth about her home.

She would learn the truth, and the world would lose some of its rosy glow, and it would seem just a little bit darker and less welcoming every morning when she got out of bed. The birds would no longer be singing in an invitation of happiness, but would instead be trying to convey the warnings they lacked the words to say. Gone would be the days of innocent animal sweaters where the biggest problems of the day were slushy attacks- instead, they would be replaced by things far more sinister and _real_.

If Quinn was being realistic with herself, she knew that she had grown to care for Rachel. Sometime since that first night on the swings, the diva had managed to worm her way into the tattered shreds of her heart, and Quinn knew that this was only the beginning. If she let herself, she was sure that she could easily grow to feel _more_ for Rachel, and the thought scared her. It had been so easy to keep things hidden when she never really _wanted_ anyone, but if she were ever to try to act on her potential feelings for the brunette...things might come to light that were best kept hidden in the dark corners of her heart and mind.

She wanted, for just a little longer, to keep Rachel shielded from the harsh realities of the world, and if she had to use her own body as a shield she was more than willing. If it meant keeping that innocent, unburdened smile on Rachel's face, Quinn knew that she would shoulder whatever load she had to. She had been so convinced that the best way to accomplish that was by cutting Rachel out of her life- but clearly, that wasn't working.

A gentle squeeze of her hand brought Quinn out of her thoughts, and she looked down to see Rachel watching her closely, a worried expression on her face.

"Are you okay Quinn?"

The soft question felt like hot knives piercing her heart, but Quinn forced a smile.

"I'm fine, Rach."

If she could just keep smiling, then nobody would notice that she was falling apart inside. If she could just maintain that perfect, happy outer facade, then maybe people would believe that she was the same perfect, happy person on the inside too. Instead of accepting her answer, though, Rachel was looking at her, looking like she saw through all of the acting and pretend.

Rachel hesitated for a moment, thinking through what she was about to say. She had a feeling that the wrong words might send Quinn running away from her again, and that was the absolute last thing that she wanted. Taking a deep breath to collect herself, she gripped Quinn's hand a little tighter before speaking.

"You know, it's okay if you're not always fine, Quinn."

The blonde opened her mouth to contradict her, and Rachel hurried to continue before she could be interrupted.

"Even if there's not something going on, it's perfectly normal to be overwhelmed sometimes. It happens to everyone- it doesn't mean that you're weak, just that you're human like the rest of us. And...I guess I mostly just want you to know that, even if you just need to be not-fine for a few seconds, I'm here. Whatever you might need, I'm here. If you just need me to sit here and be quiet, I can do that. If you need me to sing, or talk, or- well, really, I'm here and willing to do anything you need me to. All you have to do is ask."

Quinn sat there, processing through what the smaller girl was saying. She appreciated the sentiment, but she also knew that there was no way she could ever bring herself to ask Rachel for anything, no matter how small. Years of being told what a burden to others she was had made it impossible to reach out for help, no matter how desperately it was needed, and she silently wished that there was a way for her to convey that to Rachel.

She struggled to find the words she wanted, opening and closing her mouth several times before finding anything even remotely acceptable.

"Rachel- I don't honestly know what to say. You are just- _so amazing_, and I wish that there was a way to thank you for everything you're trying to do for me, but I just don't have the words. I just-"

Rachel cut her off with a gentle shake of her head, pulling Quinn closer so that she was halfway resting against the brunette's chest. It was warm and soft and so full of comfort that she felt tears spring to her eyes, and she blinked furiously to try to hold them back. It was a losing battle, and she knew that Rachel could undoubtedly feel the wetness against her neck and collarbone, but she couldn't make herself stop. The only sign the brunette gave that she was aware of the mini-breakdown was to wrap a gentle arm around Quinn and pull her closer, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Quinn knew that if she allowed this to go on, she would have to explain at least some things to Rachel, and she didn't know if she was ready to do that. At the same time, she was even less ready to give up the safety and comfort of Rachel's arms for a second time, and so she resigned herself to the awkward conversation that was sure to ensue in the near future.

For the moment, though, she just wanted to let all of her pent-up emotion drain out of her, and she stopped trying to hold everything back. Rachel pulled her so that she was sitting on the smaller girl's lap, her head buried in the crook of Rachel's neck, and all she could think of was that stupid scene in that one movie where the guy was talking about how it _hurt_ when people touched him, how it felt like it was burning or when you got too cold and froze and then were thawing out. It felt like that, only a million times worse because she felt like she had been living as one great big frozen person, and Rachel was thawing her out in her entirety with gentle touches and soft whispers.

She felt like she was overflowing in one great big mess of feeling, and it _hurt, _but somehow she knew that this was a good hurt, and that if it was too much that Rachel would know and would find a way to make it stop.

That realization, that she_ trusted_ Rachel to save her, made it feel like she was burning from the inside too, and she felt great big sobs bubbling up in her throat as she thawed. If she had been frozen until now, then her tears were like the spring snow melt in the mountains, cascading down and flooding out of her eyes in droves as she cried into Rachel and the brunette held her and whispered to her and promised her that everything was going to be all right now. The smaller girl didn't even really know what was wrong, and she was still willing to promise Quinn safety and love and protection from everything bad in the world.

The thought alone was enough to being more tears rushing to Quinn's eyes, and she clung tighter to Rachel as she rode out the pain and let herself bubble over in one big mess of emotion.

Gradually, her tears slowed, but Rachel still kept murmuring soothing words and traced soft shapes on her skin. To say it was comforting was more than just an understatement- Quinn had never had anyone who was willing to just _hold_ her and promise her that everything would be all right. All she had ever had were broken promises and threats, neither of which did anything to make her feel safe or protected like Rachel did. The thought of having someone who _cared_ enough to take the time to hold her and comfort her was almost enough to set off another round of tears, but she held them back.

It was funny, she thought, that she felt the safest she had in possibly her entire life while in the arms of the girl who, up until the recent past, had been her most frequent target for humiliation. The irony wasn't lost on her, and it caused a quiet snicker to escape her lips. Rachel pulled back at the sound and searched her face, trying to figure out what might be funny.

Quinn shrugged at the quizzical look, sighing quietly before nuzzling back in to Rachel's neck. She didn't miss the way that the brunette's arms wrapped around her more securely, and in that moment she wished that there was a way for her to stay wrapped up in Rachel Berry's arms for the rest of time.

Unfortunately, the brunette seemed to have other ideas, and she pulled back after another moment. Sighing in defeat, Quinn met Rachel's eyes and nodded at the silent question lingering there.

"I think we should talk."

**So. Reviews are love. Again, please let me know if this seems out of line with everything else that's been happening, I was super undecided but deicded to just go ahead and post it anyways!**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Lots of dialogue in this chapter. You all better appreciate it, because it just about killed me to write!

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_"I think we should talk."_

Lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently, Rachel nodded hesitantly. Glancing up at Quinn's tear-stained face, she felt once again that her normal blunt approach would be sorely out of place. Reaching up to carefully wipe a tear away from the blonde's face with her thumb, she murmured, "I don't really know where to start."

Leaning into the gentle touch and comfort that Rachel provided, Quinn sighed. "I know that you know what you want to ask, and I appreciate you trying to be sensitive to my needs and feelings right now, but maybe just think of the top five most pressing questions you need answered. I promise I'll try to be as honest as I can."

Thinking for a moment, Rachel nodded again and scooted so that she was a little closer to the blonde. "Okay. Open and honest. Just...remember that I care about you a lot, Quinn, and I'm only asking so I can try to understand what you need from me."

When she got a slight nod from Quinn in response, she took a deep breath and chose her first question.

"Are you safe right now?"

Arching an eyebrow slightly, Quinn nodded.

"Unless there's something you need to tell me?"

Blushing slightly at her poorly chosen wording, Rachel shook her head hurriedly before thinking of what to ask next. Her tone was far more hesitant as she settled on her second question.

"Are there times when you _aren't _safe?"

Quinn was quiet for a long moment, and Rachel could see the struggle playing across her face as she fought with how to answer. Finally, she looked up and met Rachel's eyes and barely whispered, "Yes."

Torn between bursting into tears because she had been right and being overjoyed that Quinn trusted her enough to be honest, Rachel took a deep breath to try to calm her emotions. She didn't want to screw this up, and she had a feeling that her remaining three questions could be life-changing for both of them.

"Is someone hurting you?"

Slow tears were welling in Quinn's eyes, and Rachel scooted a tony bit closer, trying to offer whatever comfort she could. Unable to answer verbally, Quinn nodded and braced herself for what she knew was coming next.

Trying to find a way to word what she wanted to say, Rachel finally asked quietly, "Do you...I mean, would you maybe be comfortable telling me a little bit more about what's been happening? Only if you feel safe, of course, I just...I really want to be able to help, Quinn."

The look on Rachel's face was so heartbreakingly earnest that Quinn found herself unable to refuse. Drawing in a deep breath, she turned so that she was facing the brunette, their knees bumping each other. She tangled her fingers with Rachel's, looking down at the alternating tan and white and idly noting that the contrasting shades looked good together. Looking back up, she met Rachel's eyes, deadly serious. "You have to promise that you won't tell anyone, okay? I'm only telling you because I trust you, and _god _there are so many people out there I can't trust, and I just...I need to know that this will stay between us."

Biting her lip, Rachel hesitated for a moment. If she promised Quinn that she wouldn't tell anyone but then found out that something terrible was happening, she wasn't sure how she would be able to get the blonde help without breaking her trust and alienating her. Mentally weighing her choices and deciding that she would cross that bridge when she came to it, she nodded. "I promise."

Squeezing Rachel's hand in thanks, Quinn tried to gather her thoughts. She had thought that simply admitting to Rachel that she was being hurt would be the hard part, but now that the brunette had asked for a more detailed explanation of what was going on, she saw how wrong she had been.

She still maintained that even Rachel might not be able to handle hearing everything that was happening, and she made some quick mental adjustments. It was possible, she decided, to tell Rachel part of her story without giving _everything_ away and scaring the girl off. With any luck, she would be able to keep those _other _things hidden away in the dark corners of her mind and heart forever. Gathering her courage, she paused only for a second to figure out where she wanted to start before opening her mouth and starting to speak.

"It's been going on for as long as I can remember...ever since I was little, it's just how things have been. I used to be so convinced that all families were like mine, nothing but conditional love and trying to tiptoe around on eggshells that were always breaking. There was always so much anger and hate and resentment in my house, but I didn't know any better. I didn't know that a family is supposed to be a safe place, not one where you feel scared all the time."

Rachel can see in Quinn's body language the toll living in such a place has taken on her. The blonde's shoulders are slumped, as though she is trying to make herself smaller, and her eyes are firmly fixed on the ground. Briefly, she wonders why she has never noticed these signs before, but then feels like kicking herself when she realizes Quinn never wanted her to, and she was too concerned with her own life to care enough to look.

Quinn glances up, just long enough to see that Rachel is still there and paying attention, and when the brunette gives her a quick nod of encouragement, she continues. "I think the first time I realized maybe not all families were like mine was when I was in kindergarten. I had this best friend, Danielle, and I was going to have my first sleepover ever at her house. I walked in, and just...I couldn't understand why they were all so happy, why they were smiling and laughing. I had never seen people look like that while they were at home, and I asked Danielle about it and she told me that all families were like that. All families loved each other. And I was so confused, but I didn't want to say anything because she was my best friend and I wanted her to like me and I wanted to fit in and be like everyone else."

She could see the question in Rachel's eyes, but she needed to take it at her own pace. Mercifully, the brunette didn't prompt her or say anything, just sat there and listened as she tried to tell her story.

"The second time I went over to her house, her parents were worried, I guess, and started asking questions. Wanted to know how I had gotten my bruises, that sort of thing. I told them I had fallen, because that was what I told everyone, and they dropped it. But the next time I came over I had a cast on my arm, and when they asked what had happened and I said I fell, they decided to take matters into their own hands. CPS showed up at my house the next day, and my parents were_ so mad._ They played the part of indignant but cooperative parent flawlessly, and I told the social worker that I had fallen out of a tree. She was so taken with my family's charm, she was gone within the hour and never looked back."

Quinn winced at the memory, her voice getting quieter. "I never talked to Danielle again after that. My parents said they were a mean, nasty family, and I couldn't be associated with them. They moved within the year. I didn't really hang out with friends for a while after that. I saw them at school, and that was plenty. If having sleepovers meant they would have to move and my parents would be angry, it wasn't worth it. When I met Santana and Brittany in fourth grade I started to spend time outside of school with them, but I tried not to talk to their parents. Parents meant questions and questions meant trouble, and more trouble was absolutely the last thing I needed."

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. Quinn had obviously been hurt if there had been bruises and a cast; it just didn't make sense that nobody would have poked around and asked questions. Quinn seemed to catch the silent question and sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

"I was good at hiding it. You learn pretty quick not to talk about certain things, and if you get good grades and don't cause trouble people don't like to poke around. Sort of a 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' mentality, I think."

Rachel had been trying to maintain her silence so that Quinn could talk at her own pace without interruption- she knew that this had to be impossibly hard for the blonde, and while she was telling Rachel things that seemed slightly irrelevant, she knew that this was Quinn's way of working through things. That said, she was unable to contain herself at the blonde's statement.

"That's ridiculous!"

The second the words were out of her mouth, she was immediately chastising herself for interrupting. Softening her voice, she tried again. "I just don't understand how so many people could be so oblivious. There had to have been signs,_ something_ to alert them to the fact that you were- that you were being hurt."

Not commenting on the way Rachel stumbled over the last part of her sentence, Quinn tried to lighten the oppressive mood. Letting a small smirk slide onto her features, she asked, "What? Can't stand the thought that I might be a better actress than you?"

Rachel's smile was forced, but it was something.

Sighing as she tried to articulate her reasoning, Quinn let the smirk fall off her face as her brow furrowed slightly. "I just wanted to get through high school so that then I could get out of here forever and never look back. That was why I was so mean...it was what everyone expected, and I couldn't risk doing anything that might make people suspicious. I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve any of it, and I didn't mean a word of what I said. It's just...I made it this far without anyone knowing, and it's worked for me." At the incredulous look on Rachel's face she grimaced and amended her sentence. "Mostly. I didn't see the point in anyone else being involved, not when I was so close to getting out, and then you had to come along..."

Thinking back to the first night that she saw Quinn in the park, Rachel decided that she might as well just ask her questions if Quinn was going to give her answers. She didn't know when the blonde might be this open with her again, and she was desperate to understand the other girl's life. "That first night, when you were on the swings-"

Quinn didn't wait for Rachel to finish her question before answering. "That's where I go when I need to get away for a while. You saw..." She swallowed hard, still unused to talking about what went on behind closed doors so openly. "You saw the bruises. If I showed up at Santana's she wouldn't let it drop...normally the park is pretty empty that time of night. You showing up was pretty much the last thing I expected."

Nodding, Rachel felt a twinge of worry as she wondered how many nights Quinn had spent outside. Lima wasn't exactly a big town, but bad things still happened, and an attractive teenage girl outside by herself...asleep...Rachel shuddered and pushed the thought from her mind.

Quinn's eyes flickered up to Rachel's face and she felt a pang of guilt at how patient the little diva was being.

"Rachel..." She started slowly, searching for the right words, "I'm sorry about taking off and leaving that note. And I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I never meant to hit you, and I wish more than anything that I could take it back. You were so unbelievably kind to me, and I never seem to do anything but hurt you."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but closed it when Quinn started talking again. "When I left that note I was trying to protect you the only way I knew how. I thought that maybe if you weren't around me then you would be safe, and that's all I really want." Pausing to look at Rachel and make sure she was paying attention, Quinn's tone was deadly serious as she said, "I'm not a safe person to be around, Rachel. What happened the other night is just the tip of the iceberg- if you ever got hurt by_ them_, and it was my fault-"

This time it was Rachel who cut Quinn off, shaking her head sharply. "Quinn, I understand what you're trying to tell me, but I've weighed the risks and I know what I'm getting myself into!"

Shaking her head sadly, Quinn murmured, "I'm not sure that you do, Rach." Unwilling to fight the blonde about it, Rachel lapsed into silence for a minute. There was still one thing that Quinn hadn't really addressed yet. She knew for sure that Quinn was being hurt, that this had been ongoing for her entire life, but..she still didn't know for sure who was hurting the cheerleader. Bracing herself for the awkwardness of the question she was about to ask, Rachel steeled herself and softly asked, "Who is _them_?"

Quinn didn't feign confusion, but she hesitated to answer. Rachel squeezed their entwined hands gently, and the careful contact reminded Quinn of why she was telling Rachel all of this in the first place. She_ trusted_ the smaller girl, and now she had to trust that Rachel would reward that trust with belief instead of suspicion. Taking in a deep breath, she whispered, "My mom."

To her credit, Rachel was able to keep her surprise from showing on her face, but that didn't mean she wasn't taken aback by the answer. She hadn't really even accounted for the possibility that Quinn's mom might be the one hurting the blonde- in all of her imaginings, it had always been the stoic father figure, determined to run an authoritarian household and keep his daughter under his thumb. It was just so...unexpected. Realizing she hadn't said anything yet, Rachel looked up and immediately felt awful at the look of resigned sadness on Quinn's face. The cheerleader had obviously taken her silence as disbelief, and Rachel hurried to correct her.

"Quinn."

Barely raising her eyes to meet Rachel's, Quinn waited for the inevitable interrogation and skepticism, and was unprepared for the brunette to reach out and gently cup her cheek in one hand. Rachel opened her mouth, and out spilled the three most glorious words Quinn had ever heard in her entire life.

"I believe you."

Unable to help herself, she launched herself at the tiny singer and found arms instantly encircling her, promising comfort and safety and support. Rachel's words had eased an ache inside of her that she hadn't even known she had, and Quinn found tears springing to her eyes. She had never thought she would hear those words directed at her, and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. She hadn't told Rachel everything (_especially not that_), but the fact that the diva believed what she _had_ told her...it reaffirmed her trust in the brunette and seemed to justify all of the hopes she had pinned on the smaller girl by telling her.

Rachel held Quinn tightly, stroking her hair in silence as she cried. She just wanted to protect the girl from all of the evil in the world, from all of the terrible things that had been done to her. There were still questions that were nagging at the corners of her mind, but they could wait. Quinn was safe, for now, and that was what mattered. As she felt the blonde nuzzle into the crook of her neck, Rachel vowed to do whatever she had to in order to keep the girl safe. There was no way she was going to allow Quinn to be hurt again, not after all this. The cheerleader had been living for_ so long_ without anyone willing or able to protect her, but no more. If it was the last thing she did, Rachel promised herself that she would fight to keep Quinn safe and make sure that her mother never laid a hand on her ever again.

Several minutes passed in silence as Quinn enjoyed the comforting feeling of Rachel's arms around her, keeping everything bad at bay. Eventually, though, she pulled back.

As Quinn drew away, Rachel could see the obvious exhaustion on her face, and she could feel the weariness that was practically radiating off of her body. Panic hit as she realized that Quinn was going to get up and leave and go back to her house and her mother. Rachel's mind raced for a way to keep Quinn away, and she said the first thing that popped into her head. To hell with the original five question limit- she had already gone past that, and she might as well just go for it.

"I just have two more questions for you, Quinn."

The blonde was a bit confused but mostly just tired and resigned, and she nodded her head. She could practically see the wheels turning in Rachel's mind, and she felt a spark of curiosity. The brunette seemed satisfied with whatever she ha been thinking about, and she watched Quinn carefully as she said, "Are you going to be safe if you go home tonight?"

The question stirred a familiar feeling of dread in Quinn, and images of all the things that could happen passed unbidden behind her eyelids as she blinked quickly to try to clear the thoughts away. Her throat felt clogged, and she cleared it before shaking her head, eyes downcast in embarrassment. She hated this feeling of vulnerability, of being exposed with her secrets out in the open for prying eyes to see. A gentle finger slipped under her chin, encouraging her to look up. Rachel gave her a sad half-smile when their eyes met, and her voice was barely audible as she asked, "Then will you come spend the night with me?"

Unable to help trying to inject a bit of levity into the situation, Quinn arched an eyebrow and smirked suggestively. Rachel immediately blushed vibrantly, but didn't retract the statement. Quinn weighed her options in her mind- she could decline Rachel's invitation, but now that the diva knew where she usually hid, she would probably only last an hour or two out there before being dragged back the the Berry residence. If she agreed to go, it would be a near-crippling blow to her pride, but it would be a whole heck of a lot warmer and safer...not to mention it would save her at least one lecture. Sighing and knowing she was beat, Quinn nodded slightly.

As soon as the blonde nodded, Rachel felt a grin break out on her face. She was just- _so relieved_- and while she could tell Quinn wasn't thrilled, the cheerleader hadn't exactly put up a fight either.

At the sight of Rachel beaming at her, Quinn felt a small smile cross her lips as well. It was impossible not to smile when Rachel was looking at her like she had just given her the greatest gift in the world. She wasn't sure how long they sat there smiling at each other, but eventually Rachel stretched and pushed herself up. Extending a hand down to help Quinn up and off the floor, she smiled when the blonde kept a hold of her hand even after she was standing.

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**Reviews are much appreciated- let me know what you think!**


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